A couple things I have noticed this year so far:
1) My class sizes are monstrous - apparently not as massive of some who claim to have 50-plus kids. Mine average 44, with 41 being my smallest and 47 being my largest. But my classroom is large (despite only having 38 desks). So, despite what the tone of this post (and posts to follow) may suggest: I am not complaining. I am simply stating a fact.
2) In 1999, roughly 12 years ago, an additional wing was built to accommodate the growing student population at my school. Despite still being in its pubescent years, my particular hallway still doesn't know what 70 degrees means. As a teacher in my wing, you have two choices: 58 degrees, or 83 degrees. (Again, this is a fact - dispute it and you will lose in the court of law.)
Just recently, however, a Dean brought a cooler filled with ice cold drinks to 'thank' us for teaching in volcanic temperatures. I drank my first Mountain Dew - chilled with precision - for the first time in ages.... even though it was actually 58 degrees in my class at the time.
3) I continue to dress nice, and impress the ladies. I don't do it for the ladies, of course. I do it because I want to become relevant again. No, that's a lie. My wife likes it, so I do it for her. "Don't wear jeans, babe," she says to me each morning when I attempt to dress down. Sorry Powers That Be, the only person who has control over me is She. You never will. And I will forever "Toe the Line." Great teachers always do.
4) I jinxed the best runner my high school has ever seen. I did this because I wasn't the one who coached him. After writing an article about him a few weeks back for the local paper, his season officially ended because of over-training, or so the story goes. I received some compliments on the article, which was nice for a change. Next time I will write a feel-good story on a runner from an opposing school, instead.
5) I have been out of coaching for two years now. And while I beat that to hell, I'd just like to say that I keep winning conference titles even though I'm not coaching. That makes six in seven years. Next year, when there is a team I actually never coached, a team I didn't initially establish good running habits with, a team I didn't continually counsel, cheer, support, follow, and write about through the season - then we'll see if the streak continues.
And, really, after having talked to the new coach several times - I do like him. He means well, looks out for his kids, and is dedicated to the sport. All the shit that went down wasn't his fault - the blame goes to me. But I'll be a casual observer next year when, finally, all the kids I coached (save for one) are gone. And that includes his entire Varsity Girls' team.
6) I'm teaching grammar. Someone give me a raise.
7) I'm not sure the school counselors know what they're doing. But I'm not a school counselor, so the things they are doing - for example moving a kid from Period 2 English II and Period 6 Biology to Period 6 English II and Period 2 Biology - with the same exact teachers - never fails to confuse. But I'm cool with each course in my grade book having 63 kids, 22 whited out from withdraws/transfers after only seven weeks of classes.
Jesus, I feel like I need to make these disclaimers. So I will. I like the counselors, save for one who thankfully I don't deal with. But if I catch him talk down to the counselors' secretary one more time, or tell a student that a particular college is out of their reach - and this is said in front of me - i'll be sure to put on a show.
8) If I were going to Carnegie Hall I would be able to sell chocolate.
9) If construction is on time, and I'm moved to a 10x10 portable in January, I will be conducting classes in tent on the adjoining softball field, instead.
10) Rumor has it that God, in the name of some church, is coming to my school to argue our institute's lack of religious curriculum. It must be some impostor - because this said God can be found teaching three-paragraph essays in room 431.
1) My class sizes are monstrous - apparently not as massive of some who claim to have 50-plus kids. Mine average 44, with 41 being my smallest and 47 being my largest. But my classroom is large (despite only having 38 desks). So, despite what the tone of this post (and posts to follow) may suggest: I am not complaining. I am simply stating a fact.
2) In 1999, roughly 12 years ago, an additional wing was built to accommodate the growing student population at my school. Despite still being in its pubescent years, my particular hallway still doesn't know what 70 degrees means. As a teacher in my wing, you have two choices: 58 degrees, or 83 degrees. (Again, this is a fact - dispute it and you will lose in the court of law.)
Just recently, however, a Dean brought a cooler filled with ice cold drinks to 'thank' us for teaching in volcanic temperatures. I drank my first Mountain Dew - chilled with precision - for the first time in ages.... even though it was actually 58 degrees in my class at the time.
3) I continue to dress nice, and impress the ladies. I don't do it for the ladies, of course. I do it because I want to become relevant again. No, that's a lie. My wife likes it, so I do it for her. "Don't wear jeans, babe," she says to me each morning when I attempt to dress down. Sorry Powers That Be, the only person who has control over me is She. You never will. And I will forever "Toe the Line." Great teachers always do.
4) I jinxed the best runner my high school has ever seen. I did this because I wasn't the one who coached him. After writing an article about him a few weeks back for the local paper, his season officially ended because of over-training, or so the story goes. I received some compliments on the article, which was nice for a change. Next time I will write a feel-good story on a runner from an opposing school, instead.
5) I have been out of coaching for two years now. And while I beat that to hell, I'd just like to say that I keep winning conference titles even though I'm not coaching. That makes six in seven years. Next year, when there is a team I actually never coached, a team I didn't initially establish good running habits with, a team I didn't continually counsel, cheer, support, follow, and write about through the season - then we'll see if the streak continues.
And, really, after having talked to the new coach several times - I do like him. He means well, looks out for his kids, and is dedicated to the sport. All the shit that went down wasn't his fault - the blame goes to me. But I'll be a casual observer next year when, finally, all the kids I coached (save for one) are gone. And that includes his entire Varsity Girls' team.
6) I'm teaching grammar. Someone give me a raise.
7) I'm not sure the school counselors know what they're doing. But I'm not a school counselor, so the things they are doing - for example moving a kid from Period 2 English II and Period 6 Biology to Period 6 English II and Period 2 Biology - with the same exact teachers - never fails to confuse. But I'm cool with each course in my grade book having 63 kids, 22 whited out from withdraws/transfers after only seven weeks of classes.
Jesus, I feel like I need to make these disclaimers. So I will. I like the counselors, save for one who thankfully I don't deal with. But if I catch him talk down to the counselors' secretary one more time, or tell a student that a particular college is out of their reach - and this is said in front of me - i'll be sure to put on a show.
8) If I were going to Carnegie Hall I would be able to sell chocolate.
9) If construction is on time, and I'm moved to a 10x10 portable in January, I will be conducting classes in tent on the adjoining softball field, instead.
10) Rumor has it that God, in the name of some church, is coming to my school to argue our institute's lack of religious curriculum. It must be some impostor - because this said God can be found teaching three-paragraph essays in room 431.
